Shae Matthews

1. Look Sharp Feel Sharp

One of the fastest and most effective ways of feeling better inside is to improve how you present yourself to the world. You don’t have to be rich, super good looking or addicted to fashion to dress well and have people notice your efforts. No one is more aware of how you look than you are. Taking a little time to wear clothes that make feel good, get groomed and walk out the door smelling good will most certainly leave you much more ready for action. It will change the way you interact and people for the better.

Be sure to take regular showers, get some good deodorant and cologne, learn to manscape your facial hair, wear clear and well fitting clothes and have an idea of how to style yourself to look and feel good in a way that suits you.

Learn to shop for good clothes that look good and will last rather than buying heaps of cheap clothes. This doesn’t mean you have to spend heaps it may mean you have to take some time bargain hunting at DFO or at OPshops though. In the long run buying a few clothes that are well fitted, good quality and suit you will far surpass having lots of clothes that don’t look good. Do an audit on your existing clothes and make some space. Having less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Get Organised

Take the time to organise your living space and get your workspace organised. Having a clean space to live and work in will change your state of mind and make you feel a lot better about yourself and your world. Its easy and other people will appreciate it to. Especially  girls.

3. Good Posture/body language

How a man carries himself tells a story. Hunched postures, little or no eye contact, awkward movements and nervous movements convey nervousness and a lack of self confidence. People that do convey confidence express themselves through their eye contact and intent, relaxed, well intended movements and embodied way of moving.

By becoming aware of your body and practicing good posture, breathing and intent you’ll automatically feel more confident, relaxed and present. Stand up straight, open your chest a little, relax your shoulders (and any other tension in your face and body), keep your head up, and make eye contact, breath into your belly and feel your feet underneath you. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Know Your Value/s

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening tune into what’s valuable about you and live from this place. Start by writing out all your strengths, goals and achievements no matter how small. Spend some time reciting these things back to yourself (in front of a mirror if you please) whenever you need or want to remember your value. Build on this list with time by asking what is it in me that is good for me, others or the world? And what can I do to improve my ability to be of assistance to myself, others and the world?

 

5. Attitude of Gratitude

Focus dictates reality and when you focus too much on what you want from a perspective of need, the mind assumes you don’t have it and creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your frustration, weaknesses and disappointment. The best way to avoid this is by consciously focusing on gratitude for that which you have and practice gratitude for that which you would like to have. Set aside time each day to mentally list things you can be grateful for. Focus on the moment and all that is good in the moment, recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success. Also focus on giving that which you wish to receive and have gratitude for your ability to give. For example, this might be love, money, time, touch or understanding.

6. Compliment Others and Take Note of Their Good Qualities

When we focus negatively about another person or thing, we often project that feeling in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity and projection, get in the habit of praising other people and seeing their value. Stop engaging in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you instead. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build greater confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself as like attracts like.

 

7. Participate In The Game Of Life.

Most people strive not to engage others or be seen as they prefer to remain unnoticed and out of the line of having to face the edge of their comfort zones. By deciding participate more, say hi to people, sit in the front of the class, meeting, concert/show etc, take chances, go for things you want and stand up for what you believe in you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence and ability to create your destiny. You’ll also become one of the important people taking action, talking from the front of the room, leading with vision and purpose and loving life more fully.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

When it comes to the pick-up community there are many great things about it.

Developing self confidence, improved abilities to relate, communicate, dress well, better sex life and of course a better lifestyle. At least that’s what dream is.

There is also a dark side to pick up in the sense that all too often the philosophies and presuppositions of pick up shape guys to become quite sociopathic in their views and approaches to women and sex.

The Dark Side

First of all the words like “Pick Up, game, Sarge” gives the idea that women are like objects that you can get by somehow manipulating  them into bed.

Surely this is the beginning of a distorted and dysfunctional  world view to build sexuality from.

Viewing women as Sets and rating them on a scale of 0-10 on some level  leads to the idea that women are just like another thing of value to acquire, use and dispose of when finished. Or that they are a tool or trophy to be used in acquiring social status and or higher self esteem.

Perhaps this partly an effect of our consumer throw away culture bleeding into sexuality and relationships?

If you think of the major areas of life that drive our society like making money, career development, social status (think mainstream culture) you see that the only evidence we have to know if we are improving in these areas is if we have more of it. It becomes an obsession with quantity of money, material acquisition, progress or social success.

It makes sense then that sex, relationships and women would be seen the same way. You can approach them that way if you like. The issue with this is that It’s sociopathic in the sense that it breeds

• No sense of responsibility for socially normal behaviour and calibrating to what’s appropriate (which leads to all kinds of weird and awkward  interactions).
• Inability to form meaningful relationships beyond superficial goal driven interactions like number closing, kissing or of course the holy grail of “F closing”.
• Lack of moral sense and emotional damage to self and others, in that without the communication skills or maturity to deal with high voltage sexual models like polyamoury allot of guys create karmic shit storms of negative relationships and broken hearts.
• Chronically antisocial behaviour due to disassociating and overly objectifying women and or the world.
• Emotional immaturity due to superficial objectification of people, ignoring social feedback and expecting unrealistic reactions and results. As well as seeing people as predictable and robotic.
• Self-centeredness and lack of empathy for others as a result of unrealistically high self value (Displaying high value, being the alpha, not supplicating).

On some level the PUA scene ends up teaching guys to view women as unreal, and merely as objects for their own sexual gratification and validation. People that aren’t sexually valuable are supposed to only register as possible obstacles to getting and using a girl for sex, if they register at all. . . . The result is that guys are taught to lead  on girls they aren’t interested in, just to “practice” or “socially proof” themselves, or maybe use her as a gateway to her friends. If a girl doesn’t respond to the pick up attempts she is either emotionally punished (with negative shaping) or discarded as not cool, a bitch, not sexually mature etc.

Sounds like a healthy foundation to view women and build relationships from right …

Many guys like the idea of Pick up but just don’t feel right about the techniques and ideas they often learn. On one hand it’s often just palmed off as approach anxiety and being an excuser but on another level the feeling of incongruency may be resulting from a rejection of what is seen as sociopathic bevaviour. This can be addressed to a large degree by adjusting some of the ideas and approaches to the idea of pick up.

This is a big deal to be aware of because if you are using any of these dysfunctional ideas in your pursuit of relationships, No doubt you will be either, shutting yourself down before you start (out of guilt and shame for wanting to act out sociopathic behaviours) getting no results at all, or getting poor results and empty relationships (lots of superficial interactions, flakes, bitchyness etc because your vibe is weird and you are not emotionally present).

So what’s the remedy?

How about starting with redefining the language and rules you use. The ideas that you use to support and drive an action are incredibly important for you emotionally and mentally.

Lets look at some ideas around how to clean up your vibe, and start seeing women as people.

• Quality interactions and relationships have little to do with anything objective and more to do with the subjective. Positive interactions are formed on emotional levels of empathetic relating and sharing. A good interaction is imbued with an amount of empathic relating, sharing, gratitude and or appreciation. Even if it’s unspoken these things can be sub communicated with, vibe, eye contact, intent and body language.

• Perhaps it’s time to drop ideas of “pick up, game, sarging” and think about “meeting and relating” or even just “talking to some girls”. The idea of “Pick up, sarging, gaming” aside from all its negative baggage also places allot of pressure on yourself to act out and perform like a guy that’s got “Game” which mostly ends up looking like a guy trying to be a high energy entertainer and or clown for the girls he talks to. No wonder allot of guys cant get out there and talk to women with all this mess running…

• Next step is to begin really having gratitude and appreciation for yourself, other people (especially women) and the world around you.If you are seeking to meet women from a place of appreciation and gratitude and a woman doesn’t respond well to your attempts to talk to her it there is nothing to be guilty about, as opposed to trying to run “game” on her.

The following is a powerful set of exercises around gratitude I use in my coaching.

Take what serves you and start to practice integrating gratitude into your daily life

 

Gratitude Journal

The Power of gratitude, appreciation and unconditional love.

What we appreciate we accumulate,

What we think about and thank about we bring about,

When we love what we do we do what we love…

The power of gratitude is an amazing force that helps is see a deeper truth and purpose to our existence and experiences. It opens our hearts to receive and acknowledge the potentials and gifts of that which is occurring in our lives. Gratitude is a prayer like state to our hearts that brings us back into balance with the basic goodness of our existence and the wonderful things that are supporting us

There are no real rules or limits on what we can be grateful for or how we can be grateful for it but there are some suggestions to help you get into the mood.

 

Gratitude for self and others meditation

 

 

Gratitude is perhaps the mother of all positive states, it acts as a powerful magnet because its opens us to receiving more. When we are grateful for something we are presupposing that we already have it and are happy with how things are. This creates a vacuum for us to actually receive what we want more easily. Think of it in contrast to wanting or needing something. When you want or need something, it presupposes you don’t have it and are feeling empty because of the need or want. Need and want are based on struggle and lack. How can you be in need or want of something if you already have everything inside you, through your connection to everything?

 

You can’t ever go without something, you can only pretend you don’t have something and convince yourself its true. This might sound crazy but let’s stick with it for now and see where it takes us.

 

When we feel gratitude, we open our hearts to accepting the blessings of our desires and we send out positive energy into our world. If thoughts and feelings of lack in love, confidence, skills, health, and wealth have become part of your thinking and what you think you are, you will always experience lack. This is because you are imprinting your maps and the resulting reality matrix with that reality. Because you are such a skilled creator you are convincing yourself its true.

 

Rather than seeing the things to be thankful for, you are instead focusing on what you don’t have and collapsing possibilities to filter towards lack. Remember Focus dictates reality. This is always the case and when ever you catch yourself not in a place you want to be, ask yourself “what am I focusing on?” and “what do I want?”.

 

Keep your focus on getting in balance with what you want and you will find ways to create it much faster than focusing on what you don’t want. This is the power of gratitude. Its structure is to acknowledge the good that is already in your life no matter how seemingly insignificant. Once you begin, you will soon open the flood gates for greater levels of goodness to come into your awareness.

 

This sets up a perception for these good things and presupposes that they will continue to come in future as well. This will form the foundation of new abundance mentalities and before you know it you will feel like a man rich in heart.

 

Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are actually withholding from the world and whatever you feel abundant in you will find in the world.

 

Let go and see the goodness and have gratitude for what you have and it will grow. Whatever you feel others are not giving you, give to them (e.g. If you desire others to offer you affection but it never seems to happen then offer others affection and they will quickly perceive and treat you as an affectionate person). If nothing else focus and act as if you know what you want and it will come much easier.

 

 

 

 

So you want to be a pick up artists huh?

Get all the girls you want, feel like a real man and have heaps of crazy adventures…Sounds awesome right?

It’s totally possible but the bigger questions are:

Why do you really want to do it?

And do you have a lifestyle that is supportive and fulfilling enough to  really attract the women you want?

If you are coming from a place of wanting to learn social, dating, relationship and sexual skills to add value to your life and the lives of others, and you feel like it will be a great way to evolve, become a more complete, happier person, and you are prepared to be in it for the long haul and really change then it’s probably the perfect thing for you at that time.

If you are coming from a place of feeling like you need to fuck allot of women in order to feel ok about yourself, or to give yourself some meaning in the face of not really knowing how to deal with that elusive emptiness that lurks within that tells you are not good enough, or you just want quick ways to get hot chicks without really doing much you might be in for a bumpy ride.

Allot of guys come to the community thinking that pick up is all about magic bullets that can solve all their problems. They just want to learn to say the right things or get some special state that fixes everything and their anxiety and self-doubt will go away and all the girls will fall into their laps.

Don’t get me wrong I’m all for finding powerful ways to communicate and techniques to feel better about yourself but at the end of the day these things are only a small part of a bigger picture of success.

What the books and courses all too often fail to tell you is that in order to get high class, sophisticated and sexy women you have to be a reflection of that on some level, or at least have something of real value to offer apart from a bunch of pick up banter and a penis.

It’s not enough to just display value you have to be a valuable person. Especially in a culture like Australia where most people are trained from a young age to see through bullshit and not put up with it.

This doesn’t mean that you have to have huge muscles, a big bank account, a 10 inch penis and movie star good looks (although any of those things are bonuses).  Its more about how much you accept and love yourself, how comfortable you are in your life direction and purpose, how at peace you are with your sexuality and desire to have a love life, and how much you can really see the beauty within the women and the world you are interacting with.

This is where the massive world of inner game begins…Doing pick up techniques may work sometimes and may work better in some places and times than others but ultimately pick up techniques are a crutch and will only serve you so much along the way. It’s the bigger picture of who, what, and how you go about being “you” in life that really makes you interesting, attractive and appealing.

If you were to take what you think an attractive girl is. Say good looking, healthy, well styled, has her own independents and direction, likes herself self and has a swag of hobbies and friends (basically a well-balanced attractive person) .

You should ask yourself how do I measure up and compare/compliment her?

What do have to offer and share?

What could you teach each other?

If you don’t really know how to answer, or you feel like you don’t have anything to offer its time to hit the inner game drawing board and get a life-style.

First of all double check that you aren’t overlooking already existing good things. Allot of guys have heaps going for them but they don’t really validate or recognise it.

Maybe you have a good sense of humour, Maybe you are caring supportive and spontaneous, maybe you have a good career or a great body, maybe you have special knowledge or skills that make you interesting. Maybe you’ve had extraordinary experiences or you have natural talents.

Note all these things down as the begging of what you have to offer.

The next questions to ask are:

What would you like to have to offer and where is your life really lacking the most?

If you are overweight you would start with fitness.  Look for sports and or eating plans that would suit you.

If you are poor with money you would think finances and or career (although career also doubles for direction and purpose and is not necessarily you only source of income). You may start thinking how can I get more streams of income and or manage my existing income?

If you have nothing interesting to talk about you might put personal development at the top of your list and start thinking about what would be some exciting and interesting things to get into that would make you both happier and a more social and or sexy guy? (dancing, playing music, becoming a better lover, cooking, yoga, reading about interesting things etc)

If you feel your life is meaningless you may want to think spiritual and start seeking some metaphysical depth and purpose to your life. Start reading about and more importantly practicing opening your heart and mind and connecting with yourself, the world and others.

If you see that your friendship circle is weak you might think social life and start seeking likeminded people or events and occasions that will help you feel more connected to friends and allies. Or just spending more time with good people you know.

If you feel that you are disconnected from loved ones you might think about how to create stronger connections with family or how to create your own family of close friends and mentors etc.

If you feel directionless you may want to think about life purpose and career. How can you get more on track or change what you are doing to be more fulfilled?

And finally if you feel that you are lacking in love and intimacy you would think about how to create more intimate relationships and how to better understand and manage relationships, sexuality and your own ability to connect to others.

So to look at that in basic terms we covered

• Physical
• Financial
• Self-development/mental
• Spiritual/metaphysical
• Social
• Family
• Career
• Intimate relationships

Keep in mind this is just one map that you could use. You may want to break it into three with health, wealth and relationships.

You can have as many or as few you need as long as you make sure that you are looking at the bigger picture of your lifestyles and how you are integrating it all together.

Once you have an idea of how you are going or not going in each department you can set about brain storming some goals and ideas that will help you get back on track.

The end result will be a list of potential things that you can do to that you then choose a few that will be the most powerful and achievable.

Next you want to write them out in terms of short term goals.

Make sure you write then in terms of the S.M.A.R.T goal formula to make sure you give them extra potency and write from a present standpoint as if now with the emotions of why it is important.

This means write them as specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time focused goals that are written as if now.

This may look like.

It is now (as if now part) the 5^th of the 5^th 2012 (the timed part) and I have opened an untouchable savings account and saved $1000 extra cash this last 2 months from work and extra money making methods (specific, measured, achievable and realistic). I feel great that I am more on track with finances and my sense of wealth, my self-worth is growing I am very grateful to have achieved this (this last bit is the emotional punch that really gives it more appeal and power).

You can change the wording as you like but keep in mind the above principles and dream big.

Once you have set some goals it’s time to set about an achievable action plan to get results.

What do you need to do in order to get the result? Where and when?

Commit to it and do it and keep note of your progress. At the end of the time limit if a month or whatever check up and see how you are going with your goals. If you achieved them easily set some bigger ones. If they were too much scale down a bit and get more focused on what you can do more easily.

You may also find that in this process emotions and limiting beliefs may show up and create internal conflict or self-sabotage. This usually shows up as uneasy emotions, procrastination, excuses and self-doubt to name a few of the big ones.

If these come up you can either sit with them and wait till you have had enough of them to change and or you can seek some assistance from a professional coach, or source out your own healing method to remove or integrate the blockage.

Be careful not to get side tracked from your goals into working on yourself indefinitely as that can be a trap that holds you back for a long time. If you really feel stuck it is defiantly worth seeing a professional to help you get momentum as this can save you weeks, month or even years of wasted time.

The end result of this whole process is that when you start engaging in really building a strong lifestyle and identity to go with it, your attractiveness and ability to appeal to the women you desire will be holographically improved. No one area of your life can get better without helping the others. That’s another really good thing about inner game as you get better in one area all areas get upgrades to some degree.

I hope you enjoyed the info and I look forward to hearing your comments and feedback. If you have any questions of comments I’m always available through shae@thenaturallifestyles.com

Thank you and may your journeys safe, strong and filled with beauty.

Shae Matthews

 

 

 

What does it take to be able to bring the changes into your life that you really want?  

Allot of the time the biggest challenge we face to creating change is our outlook to life.

The memories of our past failures and challenges come back to us and we fear that we will be hurt, frustrated, disappointed or exhausted by any future efforts.  When we are assailed by the past we have a choice. We can allow ourselves to be hijacked by the emotions and stories of who and what we have been or we can see them as just stories and emotions and rise above them with a new and fresh perspective. From this perspective we can see things allot clearer and make changes allot easier as well.

A shift in persepctive is needed to see the world from a more mature and detached place. The more aligned with the moment happening now. Right now…you are the more in tune with potential and the truth of existsence you are. It can be so easy to lose ourselves in the stories of who we have been or who we have to be especially when we add in the complexity of other stories from loved ones, society and the human condition.

When you really look at what this self is thats caught up in all these past and future projections is, you will see that its is only a complex of conditional interelationships that have been are and will continue to be dynamically engadged with everything else. If you really honestly look you will see there is no self (if you need to understand this further look into the ideas of no self and buddhist anatta).

The point to knowing this is that when you are aware that you dont really have a permanent self you can be much more free of all that was attached to the false ideas of having a static self. You literally become an expanded sense of nowness that is happening and things flow allot easier. This is what has been called the zone or the flow.

A quick way to connect with this is to first ask

what is myself?…then following this ask what is this self happening within? then be with that for a moment and anytime a new thought or label arises ask what is this happening within?

Just observe and be. As you get better at this you can go about your business while also being detached and observant from a place of that which things are happening within.

This is extremely liberating especially as you deeply intergate the knowing that the self is a fiction that is engadged in a reality. You can then see much more clearly what the interdependant causative factors have been that have created who you are and are creating who you are in the now. Once you have clarity of the bigger picture you can understand and accept things as they are and be free of the push pull of liking and disliking certain things within yourself, othere and your life. Along with acceptence can also come choice to change certain things as well. Changes in thought, communication and actions may arise from this new undestanding and perspective.

Another issue that holds us back from really taking action and getting the results we desire is that we never really choose a direction in the present moment. Perhaps out of fear of not knowing what to do or expect or out of laziness, we can end up just coasting and more or less recreating the same patterns of day to day existence from our past.  The result is that this leads us to create more and more impulsive, lazy and directionless behaviours over time. Mediocrity and self deception sets in and we lose our way and if we are lucky enough to wake up, we look back to our behaviours as a time of sleep walking through life.

If you want to break free of this tendency then it is tremendiously important to start to ask some bigger questions and be open to reveiving and playing out the answers.

Questions like “who am I” or “what is my self?”

“What can I love appreciate and be grateful for now?”

“How can things get better?”

“How can I create the changes in my life I desire?”

It’s the questions that lead us ,that open doors and shape how things

The fundamental point to get and deeply contemplate and test is that “the world is what we make it”. It’s our choice how we interpret, interact and react to life.  The good news is that we can make a choice to not be trapped in the mediocre ground hog day of being directionless and choose to set some fulfilling directions for ourselves in some way.

The beginning of any change always starts from within the individual with a vision. If you want to change your life you have to change it form the inside with your thoughts and feelings then your actions. You need to be able to break down the limitations that keep you from thinking forward and being able to take action in the now and in the future.

Getting in contact with the vision your dreams, desires and goals is one of the most important things that you can ever do to really get anywhere in life.  As has been said before whatever man can conceive and believe he can achieve. This is a deep teaching.

When you adopt this perspective of thought creating and attracting reality, things that occurs in the outside world become a reflection or external manifestation of things that happened in your minds inner world first.

The principle that energy flows where attention goes becomes a fundamental truth. Whatever we choose to focus on we will experience on some level in many ways instantaniously. There are no real limits to this when you are working with your imagination and the internal forces that make up your psyche. Working with our internal psychic environment can and does have a real world effect if we consistently apply ourselves to creating changes over time.

Karl Jung did some amazing work to understand and popularise the idea of archetypes as the fundamental psychic energies that exist within our unconscious and express themselves through our perception as both the projections and reflections that make up how we experience our selves, our relationships and the world around us. I will write more about these powerful forces and how to work with them in time.

When you understand that focus dictates reality, now is the moment of power. There is no more important moment than now because this is the moment that action and change arises from. Power does not exist in the past of the future, it exists now. The past and future are important in that they give us useful perspectives but the only real time of power is now. It is very important to understand this and learn to embrace and support the world that you want on the outside on the inside first.

 

Presence – Every day is an opportunity to get the most out of life. At any moment you are making decisions that change your life in little ways and big ways. Some forever. Every day you are being, doing and having things that are in alignment with your goals and values is a day well spent. The bad news is that every day that you don’t take action or take action that is not taking you where you want to be, is time never to be had again.

 

Everyone wants to be more comfortable and happier at some level but getting the momentum and changes needed to fullfill desires in  life can sometimes be a challenging or unknown prospect. It’s all about mindset.

 

 

 

Polarity – We can basically live from one of two mindsets at any moment the first is a proactive playful creative mindset and second is a critical, serious, reactive mindset.

 

When we live from a proactive mindset we feel like the centre of our world, responsible and at cause for our life experience. We feel a sense of connnection and peace with the moment and the world.

 

When we live from a reactive mindset we feel small and overwhealmed by things, feeling afraid that the world can and will affect us in all kinds of ways that we have no control over. This leads to a victim mentality where we are not really capable of creating the life we want.

 

Let’s look at some basic principles for moving idea into action and from fear into confidence and a deep sense of self-empowerment.

 

 

 

Engadgment – Essentially a successful mindset is about developing a realistic and effective attitude towards life. This mind set doesn’t try to push unreasonable ideals or impossible rules onto life. It doesn’t expect perfection of fearlessness because it know that these are illusions.  It’s not about living without ever feeling fear or experiencing challenges.

 

Instead it’s about embracing the fear and expecting the challenges yet staying focused on the growth and purpose that really matters to you through it. Fear and challenges keep us humble, honest and in balance with the scheme of things which protects our ego’s from becoming damagingly arrogant and dangerous.

 

A successful mindset see’s adversity as a challenge of growth and learning. It looks to create rather than complain and is not afraid to be open to change, flexibility or new ideas and dreams that may arise as you walk the path of fulfilling your desires.If you want to try a fun challenge….Go a week without complaining. And not just on the outside. Check yourself for complaining in yoru mind. Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it everytime you catch yourself complaining, but at the same time dont get uptight with yourself for complaining. Accept is as just somthing that happened and let go of it.

 

 

 

Acceptence – A big part of developing this proactive successful mindset is about letting go of perfectionism and embracing forgiveness for yourself and others , focusing on the progress and value within all your experiences, acknowledging and investing in the change that has happened and can happen from where you are.  If you look at a situation or challenge and you cannot see the value or growth available in it you need to look harder and dig deeper to get the value from it.

When we get down and out, or stuck in limiting loops of thinking, feeling and action we fall into a victim mentality. We end up visualising all that has or could go wrong rather than what can go right, feeling victimised, seeing change as scary or threatening, being self-doubtful and feeling threatened by change.

Of course this kind of thing if left untended grows into a sense of low self confidence and self distrust. With this self-doubt comes the questioning of our ability to really do what we want. This can be very damaging to our lives and abilities to achieve success in any of our endeavours especially over the long term. The relationship to our selves and building self trust is paramount.

If you don’t get your mindset and understanding right you can end up really struggling for success and it won’t matter what techniques you use or the amount of time you spend. As long as you are conflicted at the fundamental level of believing and trusting in yourself accepting the challenges that come with change you will not be able to really experience moving forward.

Be true to yourself – You may think that its ok to make promises to yourself and not follw through but everytime you let yourself down by procrastinating the lack of follow through leads to an erosion of self-trust and a growing inner resentment and conflict for our inability to really take action and get results for ourselves. This can be one of the most damaging things we do to ourselves.

 

Confidence comes from a daily nourishment of the proactive mindset that helps you live in accord with life happening through and around you.

 

We build character by making little promises to ourselves and keeping them. We can compound this by focusing on the achievements that you have made and learnings you have gained from the challenges. Even non attempts or destructive thoughts, feelings and action contain lessons as ways of not doing things as well as building skills to accept, let go and do things more effectively in future.

 

Remember your action is the servant of your mind and the essence of confidence is self-trust.

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